Quips & Quotes

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ViewHumorousA bore is someone who tells you when you ask: 'How are you?'
ViewHumorousA good deed never goes unpunished. - Gore Vidal
ViewHumorousA liberated woman is one who has sex before marriage and a job after. - Gloria Steinem
ViewHumorousAfter all is said and done, more is said than done.
ViewHumorousAfter I am dead I would rather have people ask why I do not have a monument than why I do have one. - Cato the Elder
ViewHumorousAll morons hate it when you call them a moron. - Holden Caulfield
ViewHumorousAn honest politician is one who when he is bought will stay bought. - Simon Cameron
ViewHumorousBefore I was married I had three theories about raising children. Now I have three children and no theories. - John Wilmot, Earl of Rochester
ViewHumorousCows come and go, but the bull never ends!
ViewHumorousDemocracy substitutes election by the incompetent many for appointment by the corrupt few. - George Bernard Shaw
ViewHumorousDo not ever wrestle a pig. Each of you will get dirty and the pig likes it.
ViewHumorousDoes the name Pavlov ring a bell?
ViewHumorousDon't accept rides from strange men... and remember that all men are strange - Robin Morgan
ViewHumorousEven if you are on the right track, you will get run over if you just sit there. - Will Rogers
ViewHumorousFlies spread disease - keep yours zipped.
ViewHumorousHe promised me earrings, but he only pierced my ears. - Arabian Proverb
ViewHumorousHe who laughs, lasts. - Mary Pettibone Poole
ViewHumorousHorsepower was a wonderful thing when only horses had it.
ViewHumorousI am not afraid to die. I just do not want to be there when it happens. - Woody Allen
ViewHumorousI don't eat snails, I prefer fast food. - Strange de Jim
ViewHumorousI don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it!
ViewHumorousI finally got my head together, and then my body fell apart!
ViewHumorousI love to cook with wine; sometimes I even put it in the food!
ViewHumorousI respect your opinion, I just do not want to hear it...
ViewHumorousI started out with nothing, and I still have most of if left!
ViewHumorousI stopped believing in Santa Claus when my mother took me to see him in a department store, and he asked for my autograph. - Shirly Temple
ViewHumorousI will always cherish the initial misconceptions that I had about you.
ViewHumorousI'm dreaming of a white Christmas, but if I run out of white, I'll drink red!
ViewHumorousI'm still hot, it just comes in flashes!
ViewHumorousIf I had known I was going to live this long, I would have taken better care of myself.
ViewHumorousIf I had more time, I would write a shorter letter. - Blaise Pascal
ViewHumorousIf you have a job without aggravations, you don't have a job. - Malcom Forbes
ViewHumorousIf you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything. - Mark Twain
ViewHumorousIf you want to read about love and marriage you have got to buy two separate books. - Alan King
ViewHumorousIt is better to know some of the questions rather than all of the answers. - James Thurber
ViewHumorousIt is better to remain silent and have other people mistakenly assume you lack intelligence rather than speak and remove all doubt!
ViewHumorousIt is expensive to be cheap. - CMV
ViewHumorousIt was a man's world... until Eve arrived.
ViewHumorousMarriage is like a warm bath. At first it feels real good, but then later it is not so hot!
ViewHumorousMiddle age is when you have met so many people that every new person you meet reminds you of someone else. - Ogden Nash
ViewHumorousOnce the toothpaste is out of the tube, it is awfully hard to put it back in!
ViewHumorousOne reason I do not drink is that I want to know when I am having a good time. - Nancy, Lady Astor
ViewHumorousOnly the mediocre are always at their best. - Jean Giraudoux
ViewHumorousPoor planning on YOUR part does not necessarily constitute and emergency on MY part!
ViewHumorousSarcasm - Just one more service I offer!
ViewHumorousShe Got the Gold Mine, I Got the Shaft! - Jerry Reed Song Title
ViewHumorousTalk is cheap because supply exceeds demand.
ViewHumorousTalk is cheap because supply exceeds demand.
ViewHumorousThe four rings of marriage: 1) The friendship ring, 2) The engagement ring, 3) The wedding ring, 4) The suffer-ring!
ViewHumorousThe future isn't what it used to be.
ViewHumorousThe less things change, the more they remain the same. - Sicilian Proverb
ViewHumorousThe only normal people are the ones that you do not know very well. - Joe Ancis
ViewHumorousThe only reason some people get lost in thought is because it is unfamiliar territory.
- Paul Fix
ViewHumorousWhen a man brings his wife flowers for no reason - there's a reason. - Molly McGee
ViewHumorousWhen I was a boy, I was told that anybody could become president; now I am beginning to believe it. - Clarence Darrow
ViewHumorousWit is educated insolence. - Aristotle
ViewHumorousYou are entitled to your (wrong) opinion.
ViewHumorousYou cannot steal second base and keep one foot on first.
ViewHumorousYou do not know anything about a woman until you meet her in court. - Norman Mailer
ViewHumorousYou have to live life to love life, and you have to love life to live life. It's a vicious circle
ViewPhilosophicalA leader leads by example.
ViewPhilosophicalA liberated woman is one who has sex before marriage and a job after. - Gloria Steinem
ViewPhilosophicalA man's character is his fate. - Heraclitus
ViewPhilosophicalA pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty. - Winston Churchill
ViewPhilosophicalAbsolute power corrupts absolutely.
ViewPhilosophicalAn army of sheep led by a lion would defeat an army of lions led by a sheep. - Arab Proverb
ViewPhilosophicalAnyone can hold the helm when the sea is calm. - Pubilius Syrus
ViewPhilosophicalBe kind, for everyone you meet is fighting some sort of battle. - Plato
ViewPhilosophicalBe nice to people on your way up, because you might need them on your way down. - Alexandre Dumas
ViewPhilosophicalBeauty is only skin deep. Ugly goes clear to the bone.
ViewPhilosophicalBy failing to prepare, you are preparing to fail. - Benjamin Franklin
ViewPhilosophicalCharm is a way of getting the answer you want without asking a question. - Albert Camus
ViewPhilosophicalChildren today are tyrants, they contradict their parents and tyrranize their teachers. - Socrates
ViewPhilosophicalDo not be afraid of going slowly, only be afraid of standing still.
ViewPhilosophicalFind a job that you love, and you will never have work a day in your life. - Confucius
ViewPhilosophicalForgive your enemies, but never forget their names. - John F. Kennedy
ViewPhilosophicalGlory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever. - Napoleon Bonaparte
ViewPhilosophicalHave more that thou showest,
Speak less than thou knowest,
Lend less than thou owest. - William Shakespeare
ViewPhilosophicalHelp other get ahead; you will always stand taller with someone else on your shoulders. - Bob Moawad
ViewPhilosophicalI do not measure a man's success by how high he climbs, but how high he bounces when he hits bottom. - George S. Patton
ViewPhilosophicalIdealism is what precedes experience; cynicism is what follows. - David T. Wolf
ViewPhilosophicalIf at first you don't succeed, you're about average.
ViewPhilosophicalIf I say it, they may doubt me, if they say it, it is true. - Tom Hopkins
ViewPhilosophicalIf you think education is expensive, try ignorance. - Derek Bok
ViewPhilosophicalIt has been my experience that folks who have no vices, often have very few virtues. - Abraham Lincoln
ViewPhilosophicalIt is far more impressive when others discover your good qualities without your help. - Judith Martin (Miss Manners)
ViewPhilosophicalIt takes two to speak the truth; one to speak, and another to hear. - Henry David Thoreau
ViewPhilosophicalIt's nice to be important, but it's more important to be nice.
ViewPhilosophicalLeaders are providers of hope. - Napoleon
ViewPhilosophicalLeadership is getting people to work for you when they are not obligated. - Fred Smith
ViewPhilosophicalLet sleeping dogs lie.
ViewPhilosophicalMany people have ideas on others should change; few people have ideas on how they should change. - Leo Tolstoy
ViewPhilosophicalMotivation is the art of getting people to do what you want them to do because they want to do it. - Dwight D. Eisenhower
ViewPhilosophicalNature has given us two ears but only one mouth. - Benjamin Disraeli
ViewPhilosophicalNever mistake motion for action. - Ernest Hemingway
ViewPhilosophicalNo man can think clearly when his fists are clenched. - George Jean Nathan
ViewPhilosophicalNo pain. No gain.
ViewPhilosophicalNot the cry, but rather the flight of the wild duck, is what leads the flock to follow in flight. - Chinese Proverb
ViewPhilosophicalOften it is not hard work that rescues a boy from his fate but rather some extraordinary act of bravery or honesty. - Horatio Alger
ViewPhilosophicalPlease grant me:
- The courage to change the things that I can.
- The serenity to accept the things that I cannot.
- The wisdom to know the difference.
ViewPhilosophicalSelf-assurance is two-thirds of success. - Gaelic Proverb
ViewPhilosophicalShow me a sane man and I will cure him for you. - C.G. Jung
ViewPhilosophicalSincerity is the biggest part of selling anything. - Billy Graham
ViewPhilosophicalSome men see things as they are and ask 'Why?'
Other men see things as they could be and ask 'Why not?' - Robert Kennedy
ViewPhilosophicalSome things have to be believed to be seen. - Ralph Hodgson
ViewPhilosophicalSometimes a raised eyebrow speaks louder than a raised voice.
ViewPhilosophicalSometimes your best investments are the ones you do not make. - W.H. Auden
ViewPhilosophicalTelevision allows you to be entertained in your home by people you wouldn't have in your home. - David Frost
ViewPhilosophicalThe boss drives his men, the leader coaches them. - Gordon Selfridge
ViewPhilosophicalThe intelligent man finds almost everything ridiculous, the sensible man hardly everything. - Goeth
ViewPhilosophicalThe man who makes no mistakes does not usually make anything. - Bhartrihari
ViewPhilosophicalThe nail that sticks up gets hammered down. - Japanese proverb
ViewPhilosophicalThe path to success is not a path you find, but a trail you blaze.
ViewPhilosophicalThe real measure of our wealth is how much we'd be worth if we lost all our money. - John Henry Jowett
ViewPhilosophicalThe two hardest things to handle in life are failure and success.
ViewPhilosophicalThere is only one thing about which I am certain, and that is that there is very little about which one can be certain. - W. Somerset Maugham
ViewPhilosophicalVirtue is its own revenge. - E. Y. Harburg
ViewPhilosophicalWe have nothing to fear, but fear itself. - Franklin D. Roosevelt
ViewPhilosophicalWe make our fortunes, and we call them fate. - Benjamin Disreali
ViewPhilosophicalWhat you cannot enforce, do not command. - Sophocles
ViewPhilosophicalWhen leading people, walk alongside them.
ViewPhilosophicalWhen men are pure, laws are useless; when men are corrupt, laws are broken. - Benjamin Disraeli
ViewPhilosophicalWhen the going gets tough, the tough get going.
ViewPhilosophicalWise men learn from other men's mistakes; fools by their own. - Latin Proverb
ViewPhilosophicalWords count: Examples count more.
ViewPhilosophicalYou don't have to hold a position in order to be a leader. - Anthony D'Angelo
ViewPhilosophicalYoung people have dreams, old people have memories. - CMV
ViewPhilosophicalYouth is wasted on the young. - George Bernard Shaw

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